| My Good Deed For The Day, Week, Possibly Year... |
[25 Jan 2010|07:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
When I Got Back In To Town I Had To Stop At The Store Before I Can Go Meet With My Mom For Lunch, While Driving Back I Was On HWY 12 And Saw Something On The Side Of The Road...
A Hurt Dog!
So I Pull Over To The Side To Check It. I Don't Give A Fuck If I Get Rear Ended Cause My Mind Is Somewhere Else That Doesn't Concern My Truck!
I Assumed It Got Hit And Was Just Left There To Suffer In Pain On The Side Of The Road, While Sprinkling...
Human Beings Make Me Sick Sometimes (noticing a dog collar but no i.d. tag so obviously some body owns/owned it and doesn't seem to care)...
So I Reach In The Back Seat And Grab An Old Blanket That I Used Last Night And Pick Up And Wrap The Dog And Place It Gently In The Back Of My Truck. I Take It To The Animal Shelter And Tell The Lady At The Counter What's Going On...
Tells Me They'll See What They Can Do And That Hopefully It Can Heal And Not Be Put To Sleep...
I Leave My Number And They Say Later They Will Call And Message Me About The Situation Of The Dog.
I Hope It Heals Up And Finds A Good Home.
|
|
| Mind Control... Coming To A Store Near You! |
[29 Jul 2009|11:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
I recently read this story about scientists being worried about computers in the future.
Reason being is that as technology advances, more and more computers are being able to be controlled by peoples minds.
Just think it, and it'll happen on your computer!
Scientists are worried about the hackers in the future being able to control a persons mind.
Now i know what you're thinking...
isn't that kind of what FOX News And CNN are doing right now? *LoL* :-p
Well sort of.
Except in the future you wouldn't have a choice to be ignorant or misinformed. :-p
But luckily for us their are very smart people out there coming up with ways to stop this mind control!
As you can see in this video....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrDU6N_DYnI
Actually not sure why anyone would do that, ever.
:-p
|
|
| Virginity Sold For $3.8 Million! |
[02 Jun 2009|06:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
I read this story about the 22 y/o virgin living in California, that's rare on it's own, but she sold her virginity to the highest bidder for 3.8 million dollars on E-Bay!
The winning bidder of the auction has now had to pull out (yes, pun intended haha! that was a good one) because his wife won't let him have sex with her! *LoL*
And i hate the feeling, cause i'd be like on E-Bay and i'd be like ooo i'm gonna buy this waffle maker.
But then i remember later, i don't even eat waffles!
Or in his case, pussy that's not his wifes!
But i guess the good news of the story is that uhm her v-card is once again on the auction block, for all you guys who like virgins.
Call me crazy, i don't understand paying millions of dollars for something that most women will give away for half a bottle of Jack! ;-p
|
|
| Darwin Strikes Again... |
[29 Apr 2009|09:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
...in the ultimate act of road rage!
A woman hit a car, then she became so furious that she actually hit someone that she revved (spelling?) her engine,
burnt out her tires, to the point that her tires disintegrated,
causing sparks to fly in to the engine,
making the car burst in to flames!
What's worse...
is that while that car was on fire, she refused to leave the car!
Until it ultimately exploded, and the road became littered with female road rage residue! *LoL*
And this might make me sound cold, but i don't feel an ounce in my heart for this woman.
I don't understand how you can be so angry at someone, to the point where you just kill yourself! *LoL*
|
|
| God And Ms. California |
[23 Apr 2009|10:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
Ms. California...
Carrie Prejean (name sounds like a fucking mustard LoL). I feel bad for her!
Because no one should be that dumb and then thrown in to the spotlight!
But that's what happens when good-looking people are idolized!
In a recent interview, she said that gay marriage shouldn't be legalized and she believed that it was God testing her faith.
Ms. California!
If God was testing anything, it was your ability to string words together to form a sentence! *LoL*
And you failed! *LoL*
And what's worse, is you've given Perez Hilton more spotlight, which is terrible, because he's a douche-cunt!
And what sucks is that he's being viewed as a Gay Activist rather than the annoying arrogant douche-cunt that he is!
Don't get me wrong, i love me some gays, but if Perez Hilton was beatin down by a bunch of people with aluminum bats, i wouldn't cry, pretty sure.
:-p
|
|
| Equality |
[21 Apr 2009|09:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
One of the most asked questions i get whenever i post these random entries about whatever is on my mind or whatever i come across in the media world is...
"Ajaxx1980, i know you joke about race and religion and sex and everything a lot, but dude, what do you think about Equality? Are we all equal?"
Well to answer that question, i really have to say, yes.
We are all equal!
But depending on sex and race and religion and whatever else you think is important, we're better at different things!
But we're stlll all human beings!
For example,
Women...
Much better at making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (they always manage to keep the jelly in the center without it leaking out of the sides)
And conceiving babies.
Black Men...
Amazing at the sport of Basketball!
And getting Heart-Disease.
And of course, White Men...
Uhm, very good at loving Wayne Brady.
And, uhm, holding down minorities!
*LoL*
It's just, you know, we're all good at different things! :-)
*LoL*
|
|
| (Put The Dick Away) An Update From Yesterdays Entry... |
[28 Jan 2009|08:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
You remember Citi-Financial?
The guys who were gonna buy the 50-million dollar jet.
Well, after receiving so much criticism from the new news/media,
have given up on the idea of purchasing said 50-million dollar jet.
They released an official statement that could be summed up in the whiney voice of a little ten year old boy.
"I didn't want a jet anyways!"
*LoL*
Stupid people just don't like when you call them out for being stupid.
Then again, running a company in to the ground and then getting money for it, not that stupid!
"I want it now mommy! I want it now!"
We've all heard some little kid say it.
But you never really out grew it.
Which is why New Jersey passed a bill that requires all high seniors to take Finance 101.
Because we "always want it now!"
And don't feel bad if you can't handle money correctly.
It's the way the brain works.
The human brain mostly craves instant satisfaction in favor over long-term satisfaction.
So as humans we never really get over "i want it now!"
And that's why so many people are in debt;
Don't wait till you have a condom;
Or eat too much fast food.
I mean all those things are probably gonna be bad for you.
And probably gonna have a negative out come later on down the road.
Like you've got a depression causing stack of debt on your shoulders or your penis falling off.
But when given the option of not trained to do the opposite, your decision making goes to that of the little whiney ten year old.
"I want it now!"
But the goal of this class is to teach people something i would like to call...
Put The Dick Away.
Think of any situation where you could use a credit card.
Get yourself a line of credit.
Put yourself in debt.
Just imagine that you have a really hot person in front of you.
That doesn't mind if you don't have a condom (unless you're in a relationship with that person).
But you know a head of time that this person probably has diseases or if it's a female could possibly get pregnant.
Put The Dick Away!
Wanna get a new video game, but you have to use a credit card.
Put The Dick Away!
You wanna purchase a house but the only way you can get it is by getting a loan that doesn't have a fixed rate.
For the love of God, Put The Dick Away!
|
|
| The Douche Bags Of Citi-Financial |
[27 Jan 2009|08:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 okay |
] |
Reason being is that they're on my shit list.
But why Your Future Boyfriend?
Citi-Financial is just a big company that received government bail out money.
What could they have done?
Well very concerned person with probably a similar voice to mine.
Citi-Financial received 42 billion dollars in bail out money and they've decided, hey do you know what we need?
More corporate planes!?!?
Good thinking Citi-Financial! I was thinking the same thing!
(that was sarcasm)
And that's why they purchased a 52 million dollar plane with the bail out money.
It's just like when you loan a friend some money.
Wait, forget that.
It's just like when you loan some douche bag you don't even know some money, and he just takes that money and spends it on stuff that doesn't even matter.
You're like, here's some money for the rent.
And he's like, bags of Skittles for everybody!
Douche Bag!
|
|
| Money For Porn?? |
[21 Jan 2009|10:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
In one of the funniest stories of the day, the Porn Industry has requested a bailout from the government.
Larry Flint described it as, "a bailout just like the one for The Big Three, except more important."
*LoL*
Now here's the thing Larry, the reason why your video sales have gone down since 2005 is some thing called "broadband internet" and "video previews".
I don't know about any of you, but when i go to FunTown on myself i don't need a whole movie, just give me like a good twenty minutes!
That's one of the best things about it.
It doesn't take time.
I don't have to worry about people having to fake orgasms.
Its all good!
*LoL*
I mean even websites like YouTube have like the craziest fetishes!
There's this one dude who's like laying down and babbles about... something and stuff.
And this one dude, who's like talking about, words.
That's hot!
Yeah, i like words. I'm in to words.
I like Coitology. I'd like to Coit-all-his-g.
*LoL*
|
|
| She Wore "Fuck Me Boots" |
[20 Jan 2009|07:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
okay |
] |
Ok, i'll just get right down to the inauguration...
Two things that i wanna mention that one's going to mention...
1. why was Bidens wife wearing "fuck me boots"?
(it was awesome lol)
2. that poet that came out, after Obama, worst thing to ever happen to words.
I was so bothered by it, i actually wrote a poem, that i will type now, about how i hated your poem...
(ambient light fades a little bit)
Your poem was bad
It made me mad
Sad
Angry
Who ever said you should write this
It was death to my ears
Dealing with fears
that you may choose to write another poem
Get Obama
show him this second poem
words that split the seat of millions
in minutes
in seconds
It was a poem that ended randomly
why would you do that
it just makes me think that you didn't have a...
thank you
*LoL*
Then of course i'd have to talk about the best moment of the event, which i narrowed to two things...
Obama's Speech
or
Aretha Franklin's Hat Bow
(which i'm pretty sure you could have seen from space lol)
Over all, glad i set my alarm to watch the event :-)
It was a good event, and you know, i gotta say, i'm loving his approval rating right now cause it's like the highest it's ever going to be.
Cause i know there's a lot of people who voted for him who are saying,
Ok well next Thursday everything is going to be swell!
Sorry.
Welcome to the Real World!
*LoL*
Something else i found interesting was that former President Bush wrote on a note and placed it on the desk in the oval office and left it for Obama.
I think that's an awesome tradition!
Like maybe pass on a few wise words. Like,
"No WMD's in Iraq"
(check twice)
*LoL*
|
|
| Ice Cream Cake And Strippers Don't Mix |
[12 Jan 2009|10:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
okay |
] |
In a story that perpetuates my belief that you can never trust people,
especially your friends,
a 60y/o man who was celebrating his retirement is dead now because at his party his friends threw him up in the air, and did not catch him!
*LoL*
How do you do that?!
Do you throw him in the air and then go, oh there's cake?!
*LoL*
Which is completely messed up, unless it's ice cream cake,
Cause if it was ice cream cake, fuck that guy!
Cause ice cream cake is the best, it mixes two good yummy things together!
*LoL*
The only way to make it better is to have a giant one where a hott stripper pops out of it!
But then again you're wasting a lot of ice cream cake on the stripper.
(i have a lot of time on my hands to think this stuff thru *LoL*)
So, some things to take in to account...
if you're old,
and not George Bush,
do not allow people to throw you in to the air!
Cause you may not realize how bad some friends you have are until gravity takes over!
*LoL*
|
|
| WTF Burger King?!?! |
[10 Dec 2008|10:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
Something i find kind of stupid...
Burger King is starting this thing called,
"Whopper Virgins"
Where they go to the farthest ends of the earth, and they give you a Whopper.
With slogans like,
"People who haven't even tasted a burger."
Or
"People who don't even have a word for burger."
Apparently they are the true taste testers.
*LoL*
Really Burger King?
You guys paid people for this marketing campaign?
People with their pallet has been accustomed to like, rocks.
*LoL*
Ok, kudos to the "Whopper Virgins."
But to Burger King's defense, they weren't in the news, McDonalds was.
Because a dude beat up his girlfriend with his hamburger.
*LoL*
He took what i'll say is a double cheeseburger and started smacking it on his girlfriends face!
Which is totally bad first date etiquette, anyone will tell you that!
*LoL*
|
|
| Jesus = 17 Reindeer (at least *LoL*) |
[10 Dec 2008|10:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
I read a story about a woman in North Carolina who's raising a big fuss!
She doesn't want the Christmas play at her kid's school to involve Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer?!?!
*LoL*
She thinks Christmas and Santa are bad things?!?!
*LoL*
She want's the play to be instead some choir singing a Hanukkah song.
I love Jews, mainly because those are the people that pay me, but some uptight Jews need to calm down!
You don't want us to have Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, but you kill Jesus?!?!
*LoL*
I'm just saying,
Jesus.
Reindeer.
We gotta have like a lot of fucking reindeer to equal one Jesus.
At least seventeen to equal one Jesus!
*LoL*
|
|
| Buy One, Get One Free |
[06 Dec 2008|02:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
When i think of that phrase, i usually think of like, potato chips or whatever and NOT cars.
But that's how bad the economy is right now.
The economy is so bad, the dealerships are like "buy one, get one free" or even "get two free".
It's odd to hear, but kind of expected.
Because certain auto dealerships are still on the decline.
"The big three" went to Washington, again, but this time not on their huge corporate jets, but instead drove in little hybrid cars like good little boys.
Probably because the PR firms that represent them are like wtf are they doing?!
This time they're not asking for 25billion dollars but for 34billion dollars!
And they've even willing to sell their corporate jets and lower the rogue salaries.
That's so willing of them considering that they're completely fucked and they might not even make it to the end of the year unless we bail them out.
The thing is, even if we do bail them out, what's gonna happen?
New Chevy's and Ford's and GM's get made.
And they continue to make barely any profit from those crappy autos.
How is that going to help the economy?
Even though it is probably a big deal to keep those jobs in America, but it just looks like more trickle down.
What i believe the great policy should do is just go from the bottom, up.
Why bail out the companies that have policies that fucked up America in the first place when you can give it to the people.
The people have more money, they can go buy things.
When people buy things, companies stay in business.
When companies sell more things, they can afford to hire more people.
Now i'm not saying that i'm an economist in any sense.
But it seems that if you make a government work program.
Get a bunch of people to build a bunch of shit.
Then the people live and work in the shit that you just built.
Because the main idea is to employ people that are going to make things that are in demand.
That people will actually use and need.
The builders will get their money.
They spend their money at those new places that people work at.
Those business exist and thrive.
Providing jobs and money.
So why don't we just start building a bunch of shit with all this extra money we have? And when i say extra money, i mean the extra money Congress magically poofed in to existence.
Take that bail out money, start these new programs.
Don't bail out these companies that have terrible policies in the first place.
Because if we do bail them out, they're just going to continue doing what they were trying to do in the first place, building a product that people can't afford right now and that is not in demand.
The only thing they're doing is continuing to make crappy autos so you can drive to the unemployment office.
I don't care if you have to tear shit down and replace it.
You're improving quality of life and providing jobs.
Hospitals, schools, roads, homeless shelters.
So the people working for the companies that provide the supplies, get paid.
The people who are going to have to transport the supplies, those guys get paid.
It's a chain reaction sort of thing. A butterfly effect.
But then again, maybe this exists in a world where Walmart doesn't exist.
Which is a beautiful world, with a lot less plastic bags.
*LoL*
Speaking of Walmart though, remember that guy who got trampled to death? Well his family is mourning, the American way, by suing anyone possible!
And i say go for it! why not?
|
|
| Bank Question |
[02 Dec 2008|12:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
I don't know if your bank does this, but whenever i take out a large sum of money, because i'm gonna go, you know, purchase something or pay something off, the teller actually asks me what i'm going to spend the money on?
Now, i don't remember my bank contract, but i don't think that's any of their fucking business.
But being me, i decided to have a little fun with them!
*hehe*
I said, well, i'm gonna fund terrorism.
And apparently they don't think that's funny.
Well, i thought it was hilarious!
*LoL*
I mean, who's saying that it's any of Bank of America's business to know that i'm taking out money to help out a prince in Kenya who just happens to be related to my distant third cousin that i didn't know about!
*LoL*
Just trying to bring money to them. I'm supposed to turn my back on em?
*LoL*
|
|
| Walmart on "Black Friday" |
[01 Dec 2008|07:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
This story kind of bothers me.
About the guy who got trampled to death by crazy people at a Walmart on that shopping day!
Essentially, just a nice guy who was trying to save some money died for no reason. He was pretty much killed by consumerism and greed.
Walmart on "Black Friday" is like the running of the bulls! Except the bulls are like these really fat crazy people! Which i think is more terrifying than bulls!
*LoL*
Especially in New York, cause you could like get trampled and get hepetitus. One fowl swoop.
*LoL*
So it comes down to who's fault is it?
A lot of people say it's Walmart's fault. Walmart shouldn't have had door buster deals. Where they limited it to ten items. First come first serve.
That's stupid!
That's how you get people in your doors, supply and demand!
So that's not Walmart's fault.
Unless you look at the fact that they didn't have enough security for all those people. In which case it would be their fault.
And a lot of people are turning a blind eye to the people involved in the death. Oh the people were just going in for deals. People were just overwhelmed by the amazing prices.
Oh come on! You god damn sheeple!
*LoL*
I love computers, but i'm not a run-over-someone-excited-for-low-prices-on-computer-type of person.
*LoL*
|
|
| "green" Billboard |
[18 Nov 2008|10:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
Everyone's been going crazy about going Green!
Going green is the way to go!
Lower your carbon footprint!
Hey, i'm all for a better environment! :-)
*LoL*
And now there's this billboard in New York's Time Square that says Ricoh.
The first solar powered-wind powered billboard!
The billboard runs off of 64 solar panels and 16 wind turbines.
Now i definitely think this is a step in the right direction, but there's always something kind of boasty and snotty about those kind of things.
Like Prius drivers, like when you're at a stop light and a Prius pulls up beside you and the driver looks at you like, hey, why don't you have a Prius? I hope you enjoy killing mother Earth!
*LoL*
Little does he know, i'm just saving my money for the car that runs on hopes and happiness. That'll make your little fucking Prius look like a rain forrest destroyer!
*LoL*
Now i know some of you are like, what are you talking about? there's no car that runs on hopes and happiness, it's not even possible!
Well for GM's sake it better be possible because otherwise that companies going down.
The automobile manufacturer actually made YouTube videos saying Please bail us out! Please!
*LoL*
|
|
| This Guy Must Have Huge Balls! |
[13 Nov 2008|11:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
Metaphoric balls, but huge ones!
I read this one story about a lumberjack who was taking down a tree.
He realized that one of the saw blades was gonna come at him.
So he started running, the blade breaks off and slams him up against a wall, and cuts off his arm!
All his co-workers thought he was dead!
Turns out, he's alive!
He picks up his arm.
Takes himself to the hospital.
The Doctors re-attach his arm.
And when he awoke from the surgery, the first thing he said was, at least i got my arm.
*LoL*
I think the only thing more manlier than that would be to punch a lion and crocodile in the face at the same time!
*LoL*
|
|
| The Dot Dot Dot |
[13 Nov 2008|10:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
I feel like i should explain something.
To the AIM and the Yahoo! and the MSN users of the world,
the difference between this word,
"OK"
and this word,
"OK..."
is massive!
The three dots are like math, they're universal.
Everyone knows, in whatever language, dot dot dot means i'm a douchebag and i'm being awkward right now.
The problem is that a lot of people don't know a lot about the dot dot dot and they abuse it.
For example,
if you get this message,
"I Got My Test Back"
Not that big of a deal.
But if you get this message,
"I Got My Test Back..."
That means a lot of things!
That means that maybe you should maybe go to a Doctor.
Perhaps you should Google what medication you need for Hepetitus B. You may find yourself thinking, well maybe God wouldn't mind one abortion.
*LoL*
I'm just begging you people, please don't abuse the dot dot dot.
*LoL*
|
|
| PROPOSITION K |
[22 Oct 2008|03:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
If you don't know what Prop K is... San Francisco is thinking about decriminalizing prostitution.
So by decriminalizing, police would no longer go after prostitutes and try to bust them on prostitution charges.
Now here's the thing, i'm not a big advocate of prostitution. I would never personally go to one. And I do know of some guys who've gone to them. And those are some skeezy bastards.
That being said, i think prostitution shouldn't be decriminalized but instead legalized.
If you have a standardized system for prostitution, then you lower the amount of crimes and STD's associated with prostitution.
Less beatings and rapes and safer sex and it's something the government could tax!
Because, and let's just admit it... pussy, ass and dick are high in demand!
*LoL*
...that's a way to get out of the economic crisis!
Legalize prostitution! There'll be so much more money coming in!
*LoL*
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
ajaxx1980